Is SantaClaus an Age-defying Athlete?
In the spirit of this holiday season, consider this question of Santa and Sport: Should Santa be accorded Age-defying Athlete status?
Age-defying Athletes
Participants in the Age-defying Athletes Project (ADAP) are men and women who play sports in later life. They enjoy renewal from doing so, in the form of enhanced friendships, fitness improvements, and plain old fun.
So, the question is whether or not Santa benefits from camaraderie, fitness, and fun as he performs his annual rites.
Here are some reasons to answer yes:
What with the white beard and all, Santa is in “later life”.
He’s past 50, the arbitrary starting age for the ADAP community. In fact, we know that he dates from at least 1773, when the name “Sinterklaas” was first Anglicized in the US press as “Santa Claus”.
Fitness-wise, Mr. Claus moves a truly astronomical distance in the space of 24 hours.
Consider that the earth’s current population is about eight billion people. Assuming four persons per domicile, that’s two billion houses. Even chopping this number down to a billion houses for a variety of cultural, political, demographic, religious, relationship, health, and other reasons, equates to almost 22 years of elapsed time, assuming one second per delivery.
Clearly Frosty has no monopoly on “some magic”. Perhaps Santa’s sleigh is hydrogen powered?
But, of course, it’s not merely the sleigh. The Jolly Fellow is able to whisk himself into and out of a billion chimneys or chimney-like things in the space of one earth turn.
Santa has awesome upper body strength.
For one thing, what does his sack weigh? Ten pounds per domicile? More? But he hauls it around seemingly effortlessly.
And for another thing, how can he hang onto the sleigh reins more or less continuously for 24 hours? Are reindeer easy to direct, or do they require a lot of pulling and pushing? (Looking for reader input here, people.) Such moves would take considerable shoulder and arm endurance
Speaking of endurance, Claus has performed his task (his sport?) for hundreds of years.
Age-defying Athletes are certainly distinguished by their ability to return again and again to their games – irrespective of whether they play brilliantly or absurdly.
Here are some reasons to answer no:
Let’s continue our fitness theme.
Santa needs to lose about 100 pounds. Not that there aren’t plenty of ADAPers who could stand to…shall we say?…lighten up, too.
But how would our traditional English/Dutch/American perception of the Jolly Old Fellow withstand his becoming a Zepbound® poster boy? His “brand” clearly relies on his rotundity, which suggests he avoids anything (such as sport playing) in service to his brand.
Except, of course, to slide down chimneys? How can he perform this feat? Does he elongate himself sufficiently to slither down and back up?
What’s more, delivering toys to girls and boys is not a year-round activity.
The Claus visitations are breath-gasping because he completes the entire world in just one day. But what about the other 364?
As noted above, Age-defying Athletes don’t wait for a certain day to roll around in order to head for the pool, courts, course, or other sports venues. They are in it for the duration – playing regularly, sometimes three, four, five times a week. They want to win or beat their personal best, of course, but loss and failure do not keep them away. What does Santa do the rest of the time? And how should that impact his ADAP community status?
Even more elemental, what’s the sport?
Is it speed delivery? Synchronized reindeer driving? The toy bag toss?
Santa performs a marvelous function, but sport-wise, there doesn’t seem to be any there there.
And for speed delivery, et al, who’s the competition?
Father Christmas and Claus dovetailed at least a century ago, so who’s on the team opposite Santa? Or is it merely a question of Santa competing with himself? (For example, beating his personal best and completing the planet in a sub-23 hour push?…)
Camaraderie – does he have it?
Sure, Santa enjoys plenty of cookies and cocoa as he makes his rounds, but appears to have little in the way of bonding with kids or adults. In fact, kids are warned not to approach this apparition.
His is not merely a solo undertaking. Rather, it would appear to be, in a strange way, a lonely one. Not much friendship payoff.
And fun?
Santa is always portrayed as a jolly fellow, and the illustrations on this post show him as such. So, fun may be a draw to the question of Santa’s status as an Age-defying Athlete..
Weigh (ha) in!
What do you think? Is Santa an Age-defying Athlete, or is he better left as a charming representative of this lively and lovely season? Let me hear from you!
Ho! Ho! Ho!
And to all a good night!